


Shared Light

by Liara_90



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cigarettes, Developing Friendships, F/F, Friendship, One Shot, POV Third Person, Post Sailor Stars, Sharing, Tokyo (City), Underage Smoking, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 11:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17466911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liara_90/pseuds/Liara_90
Summary: Makoto shares a cigarette, a story, and a moment with Haruka.





	Shared Light

* * *

Another day, another world-threatening crisis.

At least, that's what it felt like to Haruka Tenoh, staring out from the balcony at the bright lights of a city that she was, _once again_ , trying to save from annihilation. She was resigned to the reality that this was her lot in life, her destiny; an eternal game of whack-a-mole with whatever two-bit villain felt like threatening the solar system next. The flavor of the month was more colorful yōma, designed by yet another megalomaniac with delusion of both grandeur and artistic talent. They didn't seem to be a truly planet-threatening terror - certainly not of the magnitude of Galaxia, or even the Dead Moon Circus - but it was nevertheless _exactly_ the sort of menace that only the Sailor Senshi could defeat.

Said Senshi had had to split up to destroy several villainous lairs simultaneously, in multiple prefectures across Japan. Haruka had drawn one of the short straws, staying behind so that someone was around to deal with any Tokyo-based crises while the rest of the team played tourist. Which was why she was crashing in Makoto's small-but-conveniently-located flat, instead of taking in the night skies of Hokkaido at a ski resort with Michiru.

The loneliness of separation bit at her far worse that the midnight cold.

The sound of the door sliding open snapped Haruka from her reverie, bringing her back to the here-and-now of winter in Azabu-Jūban. She glanced sideways, acknowledging whoever was joining her in her midnight vigil on the balcony. Some part of her brain still hoped, _expected_ , it to be Michiru.

" _Oh_ ," came the softly startled voice of Miss Makoto Kino, as her bare feet padded out onto the cool concrete of her balcony. She was dressed only in an oversized t-shirt, whatever color it had once been having long since washed out. Her hair was down, something Haruka couldn't recall having seen before, wavy brown strands cascading over her back. And she was still wearing those beautiful rose earrings…

"…you smoke?"

Haruka blinked, then suppressed an urge to curse. She'd been so caught up in gawking that she'd forgotten that none of the Inner Sailors knew about her habit. More immediately, she'd forgotten that she had a lit cigarette dangling between her lips at that very moment.

"Uhh…" Haruka plucked the Wakaba-brand cigarette from her mouth, sheepishly. "…yeah."

She braced herself for the familiar haranguing. It was bad for her health. For her lungs, her throat, her teeth. Her breath would stink, and her nails would stain. She was taking years off her life and a small fortune from her bank account. How her habit hurt her, her friends, everyone around her...

"…can I borrow one?"

For the second time in less than a minute, Makoto had caught Haruka off-guard. A grin escaped the Outer Sailor. "Mako-chan, you _smoke_?" she teased, in mock surprise. "I didn’t think a nice young lady would-"

Makoto spun on her heel, and Haruka belatedly realized she'd crossed a line. " _Matte_ , _chotto_ _matte_ …" Haruka pleaded, managing to stop Makoto before she walked back into her apartment.

Makoto turned back around to face Haruka, her expression looking equal parts cross and tired. Haruka didn't voice an apology, though the remorseful expression on her face conveyed the message clear enough. The spark of anger that had energized Makoto dissipated with that look, and the tired teenage girl reappeared.

"Sorry, this is my last one," Haruka apologized, extracting a flattened packet from her jacket's inner pocket. Makoto slid up beside Haruka, the two women leaning against the edge of the balcony. It had been a rare snow day in Tokyo earlier, and the light dusting of powdery fluff still hadn’t entirely melted away. Tokyo Tower shimmered in the distance, its orange glow standing out among the million points of light. Lights they had fought again and again and _again_ to keep from being extinguished…

"…Here," Haruka said, extending the enkindled cigarette towards Makoto with two fingers. "I hope you don't mind my _cooties_."

Makoto's brow furrowed, but she accepted the cigarette with a small bow of her head, raising it to her lips. Haruka watched - from the corner of her vision - as Makoto took a well-practiced drag, inhaling deeply. She held the smoke in for several long seconds, before blowing it out with an equally languid exhale.

"I don't mind your mouth," Makoto replied, handing the cigarette back to Haruka.

Haruka grinned. The Japanese word for 'mouth' was ' _kuchi_ ', and she suspected that that was what Makoto had misheard, rather than the fragment of English slang. Or maybe not. Either way, the answer was nice.

They stood in silence for several more seconds.

"Can't sleep?" Haruka finally asked, gently prodding for a response. She wasn't normally one to strike up idle conversation for its own sake, but she and Makoto had never truly gotten close, and this seemed as good a bonding moment as any.

"Yeah," Makoto replied, taking her turn with the cigarette. She was practically slumped over the railing, pressed down by the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Haruka slouched a little further forward, trying to remain in Makoto's cone of vision. "But what's a school semester without somebody trying to destroy the galaxy?"

Makoto didn't rise to the easy joke, to the gentle gallows humor. She took a few more drags of the cigarette, the fire slowly consuming the stick.

She shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hog this," she apologized, passing the remainder back to Haruka.

"You look like you need it more than I do," Haruka said in reply, with a weak laugh, even as she took a drag of her own.

 _That_ , at least, got some small reaction. "It's a bad habit," Makoto confessed, her eyes still locked on the shimmering city lights. "I started young…" Haruka held the cigarette between her lips, silently bidding Makoto to continue. "You know most of my story, right? Orphaned, basically took care of myself as soon as I could. By the time I was in middle school I was already paying my own rent, cooking all my food, doing all my shopping…"

"Home ec must have been a breeze for you," Haruka remarked.

Her glib observation was rewarded with a small smile. "I'm pretty sure I knew more than any of my teachers did," Makoto agreed. She made a small, restless gesture with her fingers, and Haruka passed the cigarette back - a bribe for the story to continue. "I have a _really_ clear memory of adjusting my monthly budget when I realized I'd have to start buying pads."

Makoto chuckled a little at the recollection, even as Haruka's eyebrows arched upwards. While all the Sailor Soldiers had grown up too fast (Usagi’s best efforts notwithstanding), there was something unique about the way adulthood had been forced early on Makoto.

"I did everything adults did, when most girls my age were spending all their allowance money on sundaes or fancy clothes or, or…" she made an airy gesture with her free hand, to which Haruka nodded in sympathy. She seriously doubted that Makoto had a spiteful bone in her body, but it wasn't hard to imagine the kind of _envy_ that must have provoked.

"So, you figured you might as well get to enjoy some grown-up privileges, as well?" Haruka hazarded.

Makoto shifted her weight between her feet, swaying back and forth. "I guess. I don't think that's how I justified it at the time, though. I just thought of it as stress relief."

The silence stretched on for a few more seconds. Makoto still held the ever-stubbier cigarette between her fingers, but Haruka didn't make any motions asking for it back. She could always run out and buy another pack. "Did you find a tucked-away vending machine? Or was there a girl at school who’d supply you?”

Makoto shook her head. "No. Well, for a short time, when I got started... there were a few girls I could buy from. But I moved away from them pretty quick. It was mostly an old _hibakusha_ , half-blind, ran a hole-in-the-wall _conbini_ in my old neighborhood. I scared off some kids shoplifting once, and he threw a carton into my bag as thanks." Makoto smiled, though Haruka thought it was more of a grimace. "I don't know if he couldn't tell I was wearing a schoolgirl uniform, or just didn't care. He sold to me for years."

"Sounds easier than getting a fake ID," Haruka replied, confessing to a small sin of her own. Though she thoroughly believed that a reincarnated Guardian of Solar System should be exempt from the usual age-based legislative restrictions.

Makoto nodded a little. "Yeah. I used to have a pretty bad habit. This is probably the addiction talking, but for a while it felt like they really steadied me. My nerves. Just the comfort of the habit." She took another deep drag. "I cut back pretty hard after I met Usagi-chan, and everyone. I think learning about my destiny helped."

Haruka nodded. “Koneko-chan makes it very hard to be _bad_ around, doesn’t she? You just never want to disappoint her.” Something Haruka herself had experienced firsthand.

Makoto hung her head in dejection. "Yeah, that's probably a big part of it, too," she admitted, her voice somewhat muffled by her posture. She straightened her head up a moment later. "I don't know how my friends would react if they learned I had such a…" Makoto flicked the stub of the cigarette off her balcony "… _disgusting_ … habit.”

Haruka almost took the easy route, the route where she teased Makoto for apparently _not_ counting her among her friends. Thankfully, her brain was faster than her mouth. Besides which, Makoto was right. They weren't _really_ friends, not like Makoto was with the Inner Guardians, or Haruka was with the Outers. Haruka certainly liked Makoto well-enough, enjoyed her company, but at the end of the day they were still more _co-workers_ than _close_ _companions_.

No doubt that was much of the reason Makoto felt comfortable pouring her heart out to her. Haruka's disapproval wouldn’t hurt her the same way Rei's or Ami's would.

"I think they'd want you to stop," Haruka said, patting her breast pocket out of habit, forgetting that that'd been her last. "Hell, we both know that'd be best."

Makoto nodded in somber agreement. "I know. I know they'd be all supportive, and helpful, and compassionate. I just don't know if I want to deal with that… that _guilt_ right now. With _disappointing_ or _worrying_ them.”

Haruka gently turned around, so that she was leaning back against the edge of the balcony, the inverse of Makoto's slump. She let her fingers brush a few wayward strands of hair out of Makoto's eyes, and to her relief, Makoto didn't flinch away.

"Your friends are wonderful people, Mako-chan," Haruka said. "And sometimes their care is going to be hard to deal with. When you feel like you can't live up to it, or don't deserve it." There was a small quiver in Haruka’s voice, a crack in her façade, through which seeped her feelings of inadequacy, her _unworthiness_ of Michiru.

 _(Who was_ she _, to expect to be loved by someone like_ her _?)_

But Makoto just turned her head, so she was staring at Haruka with those big, beautiful eyes of hers, and so Haruka forced herself to continue. "I'm not a guru, or anything, but just… try not to let that get you down. You really are worth their love, Mako-chan, whether you have a bad habit or not."

Makoto offered a small smile. "Thanks. And… sorry for unloading all of that, on you. You were just looking to take a smoke break."

Haruka flashed a small grin of her own, her cheeks colored slightly by a sense of bashfulness. "Don't mention it. I've been told I'm a good listener."

" _Very_." Makoto leaned forward on the railing once more. "Can I ask you a question, about, um, Michiru-san?"

Haruka shrugged. "I'll answer if I can."

"Does she know you smoke?"

"Oh. Yeah," Haruka answered, a little flatly, having been bracing for something _much_ more personal. "She does too, on occasion. Mostly when we’re in Europe. We all spent too much time in French cafés, I think." Haruka paused. "Maybe, uh, no _need_ to mention that I told you that."

Makoto smiled. "Got it. And in exchange, I won't tell Sailor Moon that you gave cigarettes to a minor."

"It's a deal," Haruka agreed with a wry grin.

They stood in silence for a few more minutes, listening to the wind, to the ambient noise of cars driving by. Makoto finally shivered a little, prompting her and Haruka to slink back into the apartment proper.

It seemed neither of them had noticed how cold it had gotten, and Makoto’s fingertips had reddened from the chill. She rubbed her hands together, trying to generate a bit of friction, and then blew on them. The cold hadn’t affected Haruka quite as much, but she’d also been better-dressed for it.

"I'm going to try to fall back to sleep," Makoto said, bobbing her head in the direction of her bed. She'd offered to share it, but Haruka had insisted on taking the couch. "Thanks again for… letting me vent."

"Mako-chan, I can be your not-quite-close-friend any day of the week", Haruka replied, with that devilish smile of hers, taking one of Makoto's hands in her own. For a moment she just clasped it, transferring the heat of her body to Makoto. 

And then she raised that hand to her lips, kissing it with chivalrous chasteness. "I'm going to go for a run,” she said, gently releasing Makoto's hand. “Burn off some nervous energy.”

Makoto beamed. "I'll set some water out for when you get back."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your readership! Please feel free to leave any comments, thoughts, feedback, or headcanons in the comments. Criticism is the only way I’ll ever get better as a writer.
> 
> So my first story for _Sailor Moon_. I binged the original anime and absolutely loved it, finished up [_Codename: Sailor V_](https://myanimelist.net/manga/854/Code_Name_wa_Sailor_V), and am now making my way through the rest of the manga while debating whether to get into _Crystal_. I have a handful of fic ideas for this fandom, but I’m starting out with something small and simple, dipping my toe into the waters.
> 
> During the roughly [mid-90’s timeline of canon](http://www.angelfire.com/me2/cool14/timeline.html), you could buy cigarettes from about [500,000 vending machines](https://web.archive.org/web/20110707120143/http:/www.wpro.who.int/media_centre/fact_sheets/fs_20020528.htm) in Japan; the age-verifying [Taspo cards](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taspo) weren’t introduced until 2008. I actually find it fairly easy to headcanon _most_ of the Senshi smoking, but Makoto’s [original conception as a chain-smoking gang leader](https://www.tuxedounmasked.com/was-makoto-a-member-of-a-gang/) really stuck in my head. And there’s definitely no [hidden reason](https://utena.wikia.com/wiki/Wakaba_Shinohara) Haruka smokes [Wakaba cigarettes](http://cigarettecollector.net/tag/wakaba/).
> 
> If you’d like to know more about me/my writing, feel free to hit up my [About](http://www.pvoberstein.tumblr.com/about) page. I’m also active on [reddit](https://www.reddit.com/user/pvoberstein/overview), [Tumblr](http://www.pvoberstein.tumblr.com/), and [MyAnimeList](https://myanimelist.net/profile/pvoberstein), and can be reached through any of the means on my [Contact](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liara_90/profile) page.


End file.
